An Observers tale

Okay, well today (like a few days this past month) I was thinking on how it would be nice to have a child to help grow and develop into an adult. The fact that there is a young boy here with his mother probably plays a key roll to these thoughts.
To discover the world through a childs eyes. That would be a wonderful thing to experience. Many of the people I know around me are haveing or considering having children or adding to their families.
I guess I am progressing in life. At one time it was romance that I was looking for in life, now I am looking for a father. Yikes! I am developing weither I like it or not.
"Life is what happens to you as you are busy making plans" (unknown source).

I was searching the web on spirituality and looking at other religions (eg. Islam, and Buddisim) when I was struck by the idea of childrens spirituality. I know for myself I was extreamly spiritual as a child and I see my oldest sister following the same path. This courisoity lead me to do a google serach where I found this sight:
http://www.childspirit.net/
This looks to be something I wish to get involved in. One of the best ways to promot spirituality is through the education of others and who are more open (almost to the point of vulerability) to new leasons but children.

It is neat to look at others now because I am seeing their actions more objectively. What almost put me around the bend being here last season is that I saw meaning in everything and this was overwhelming me becasue I personnally was trying to process everything. I realize now that I was undertaking an impossible task. No one person can truely objectivly evaluate all that they see.

What has me pondering things is that I know my will be done; because my will is God's will and it is God's will that I wish to accomplish. The thing that has me stumped is that I am trying to solidify for myself, what my will is.

I had an attonement long time back now and instead of surrendering to that Unconditional (in the purest sence of the word) Love I pulled myself back to this world becuase I realized those around me were ignorant of the Unconditional Love that is present to us all. It was at that moment that I realized I wanted to educate people about what is out there.

For the first while after having this experience I tryed hard to get back to that feeling of euphoria and Unconditional Love but as I mattured I realized that it was a gift. A gift that we all experience in different was. There is the Unconditional Love of a parent, or a partner. The more talk to some poeple the more I discover others have not necessairaly experienced things as I have in my life and this was a shock to me.>>>

Life progressed and I put this experience aside. It wasn't untill last season here on Guana when I was challenged on the existance of a god that I remembered that experience.

I know I can be anything I wish in this world. I have the brains to learn anything and work in any possition, there is not limits there. There are no limits to this world except those that we place upon it. I know in my heart this is true. I know that actions speak louder then words and that people will learn by the example I set. So I wish to live my life in accordance to God's will. For the longest time I was searching to figure out how I can know what is God's will. ACIM is directing me to the thoughts that my will is God's will.

Being in the Caribbean has been a wonderful experience. The people I have meet here possess the ability to creat structure in an environment that appears to not have a sturcture.

// posted by Erin @ 1:19 p.m.

It is amazing how when someone undertakes an activity all of a sudden the whole world seems to be doing the same thing.

Is this because our awairness has been brawdened?

For previous generations, the world was flat and the earth revolved around the sun. Some people dared to think differently, but many did this in secret for fear of retribution. Some were daring enough to speak up (like Galilao) and they reinforced the populaces need to surpress their thoughts and feelings.

In the time of courters it was uncivilized to express ones feelings and emotions openly thus surrpression continued.

I resently have become awair of the fact that I tend to be alouf, to draw only those who are truely interested in getting to know me, to myself. This is not a functional means of socialization when working in an feild where one must put themselves forth and be known to others.
In short, I have not been sucessful in makeing myself clear to others (in part because I can not make myself cear to myself) and in doing so those around me see me in many different lights. You are in a position where you have to make decisions about people based on second and third hand information. It is understandable that you do not have enough time in a day to evaluate all those around you, yet you are asked to make judgements about people who are not known to you.
I wish to open up lines of communication to you so that you may have an opportunity to evaluat me yourself.
Now that you have had the opportunity to see that there is a wealth of inteligence behind this alouf posteriour I shall be frank with you.