Friday, December 26, 2003
Wanna Rant
I haven't ranted for a while and I wanna rant.
Shall I start off by saying:
I'm at a point where I want to fend for myself. I want to cook my own meals, I want to say when I can eat and what I can eat. I want to go hungry if I don't have enough money for food. I want to have to make a budget for my daily living expenses. I've had enough of being looked after so much. At the same time I love all the extras I can do. lol
I guess there is a point in ones life that you get tired of being cawdled.
Last year before all of this guana thing I was at the point where I wanted to move out on my own. My parents had just let me house sit for two months and I was getting to like the independence. I really didn't think things through when I said yes to the whole Guana thing but it is all one large learning experience. I wouldn't be the person I am at this moment with out these experiences. I was told once that there are no wrong answers there are only different answers and that is So correct.
What one person or even culture sees as wrong or incorrect is readily accepted by another person or culture.
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Shall I start off by saying:
I'm at a point where I want to fend for myself. I want to cook my own meals, I want to say when I can eat and what I can eat. I want to go hungry if I don't have enough money for food. I want to have to make a budget for my daily living expenses. I've had enough of being looked after so much. At the same time I love all the extras I can do. lol
I guess there is a point in ones life that you get tired of being cawdled.
Last year before all of this guana thing I was at the point where I wanted to move out on my own. My parents had just let me house sit for two months and I was getting to like the independence. I really didn't think things through when I said yes to the whole Guana thing but it is all one large learning experience. I wouldn't be the person I am at this moment with out these experiences. I was told once that there are no wrong answers there are only different answers and that is So correct.
What one person or even culture sees as wrong or incorrect is readily accepted by another person or culture.
Sunday, December 21, 2003
Guana
Okay so the second season has been underway for a few months now.
I have been trying to appease all parties and am taking back seat to the massage position. I was thought of as being pushy and peddling my massages on people. (Jealousy speaking most likely). So for the last while I haven't been approching people about massages alll that much and the numbers show that. I have been reasured a few times that it has been because of the low guest count. At least I can say that is the erason. But I know if we had kept track of the numbers in a thurough manner we could see that my guest per massage ratio is currently down and some of it has to do with me keeping busy and not looking like I have absolutly nothing to do but massage. So I am really being heplful in other areas. This is a delecate balance.
I have realized today that there are other ways for things to be maintianed here to help the island be a greater success. The biggest area is organization of the smaller iteams. If the store rooms are neat and organized this allows things to be used and not collect dust. It allows inventory to be watched better and when you can get your inventory running smoothly then costs are saved. You are not buying things that won't go to waist. If only some people were open to suggestions and wouldn't take offence.
I have some friends who work in offices and they have worked over the weekends to get the office organized and I completely understand why now. Not only do you know what stock you have you can put it in order to have things acessable. I could help out here and organize things but I don't have the othorization and the knowledge to to the best job possible. Eg. when I did the inventory last season there was a lot of things in the store room that could have been used and a lot to be throughn out but that was not my place. Thankfully over the summer another person with the athority did go through there and it is much more organized. Today I was stocking the bar fridge. The store room for the drinks was a disaster. I helped to organize it a bit but I don't know what is the more popular drink and what is not used all that much to organized that room in the best mannor but I was able to put a little order to the chaos.
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I have been trying to appease all parties and am taking back seat to the massage position. I was thought of as being pushy and peddling my massages on people. (Jealousy speaking most likely). So for the last while I haven't been approching people about massages alll that much and the numbers show that. I have been reasured a few times that it has been because of the low guest count. At least I can say that is the erason. But I know if we had kept track of the numbers in a thurough manner we could see that my guest per massage ratio is currently down and some of it has to do with me keeping busy and not looking like I have absolutly nothing to do but massage. So I am really being heplful in other areas. This is a delecate balance.
I have realized today that there are other ways for things to be maintianed here to help the island be a greater success. The biggest area is organization of the smaller iteams. If the store rooms are neat and organized this allows things to be used and not collect dust. It allows inventory to be watched better and when you can get your inventory running smoothly then costs are saved. You are not buying things that won't go to waist. If only some people were open to suggestions and wouldn't take offence.
I have some friends who work in offices and they have worked over the weekends to get the office organized and I completely understand why now. Not only do you know what stock you have you can put it in order to have things acessable. I could help out here and organize things but I don't have the othorization and the knowledge to to the best job possible. Eg. when I did the inventory last season there was a lot of things in the store room that could have been used and a lot to be throughn out but that was not my place. Thankfully over the summer another person with the athority did go through there and it is much more organized. Today I was stocking the bar fridge. The store room for the drinks was a disaster. I helped to organize it a bit but I don't know what is the more popular drink and what is not used all that much to organized that room in the best mannor but I was able to put a little order to the chaos.
ACIM
WOW WOW WOW and WOW.
I am SSSOOOO relieved.
This past spring and summer, when I wrote those emails to vent and unload my mind, I was afraid. The thoughts that I was having contradicted the foundation that i had held onto for my self (that being my Catholic upbringing) to such a degree that I was waiting for the lightning to come strike me. No kidding. And when there was no lightning my mind did a good job of persicuting my self.
What has brought me such reliefe is A.C.I.M. A Course in Miricles. What!? You may say. That was my same reaction when I heard about it.
My natural Grandmother told me about it when I was in Texas this past fall. THe first thing I thought of was that is was some cheese exostensialist book fully of angels and seeing the light bable gable. You know, the american talk show, "Full House" everything is always better in Half an hour things that make me sick to my stomach. For this reason I didn't think mych of the book. I was amazed and Loved talking to Patricia (natural grandmother) becasue we were discussing beliefs. Which I LOVE doing above all ealse becuase in talking about worth while topics such as this you learn and discover so much about your self.
At times I feel it is a waist of breath to be talking about anything ealse. That could be a contirbuting factor to the fact that I have a hard time with small talk. I would reather go up to a person and ask what they believe then ask them where they are from and how the weather is doing there.
Well any way, I dismissed the talk about ACIM and then Patricia gave me a book called "Disappearance of the Universe: Straight Talk about Illusions, Past Lives, Religion, Sex, Politics, and the Miracles of Forgiveness". This book tickled my couriosity so I started to read it. It was in reading this book that I figured I'd give ACIM a try and Thank God I did.
Have you ever noticed that often we need validation from others for something to be true? "did you see that?; did you hear that?" well this book was a validation to those thoughts that I had over the summer that I was persicuting myself for. There was no need to think I was blaspheming when I said Jesus was Human and that he was placed on a pedistal that he was not wishing to be on. This is correct. My Catholics upbringing brought me to put too much enfasis on the body of Jesus instead of what occured. Jesus' crusifixtion was a forgiveness leasson.
I will write more but I have to attend to my position here on Guana as massage therapist. Hope the wrold is treating you with love and careing dear reader.
God Bless.
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I am SSSOOOO relieved.
This past spring and summer, when I wrote those emails to vent and unload my mind, I was afraid. The thoughts that I was having contradicted the foundation that i had held onto for my self (that being my Catholic upbringing) to such a degree that I was waiting for the lightning to come strike me. No kidding. And when there was no lightning my mind did a good job of persicuting my self.
What has brought me such reliefe is A.C.I.M. A Course in Miricles. What!? You may say. That was my same reaction when I heard about it.
My natural Grandmother told me about it when I was in Texas this past fall. THe first thing I thought of was that is was some cheese exostensialist book fully of angels and seeing the light bable gable. You know, the american talk show, "Full House" everything is always better in Half an hour things that make me sick to my stomach. For this reason I didn't think mych of the book. I was amazed and Loved talking to Patricia (natural grandmother) becasue we were discussing beliefs. Which I LOVE doing above all ealse becuase in talking about worth while topics such as this you learn and discover so much about your self.
At times I feel it is a waist of breath to be talking about anything ealse. That could be a contirbuting factor to the fact that I have a hard time with small talk. I would reather go up to a person and ask what they believe then ask them where they are from and how the weather is doing there.
Well any way, I dismissed the talk about ACIM and then Patricia gave me a book called "Disappearance of the Universe: Straight Talk about Illusions, Past Lives, Religion, Sex, Politics, and the Miracles of Forgiveness". This book tickled my couriosity so I started to read it. It was in reading this book that I figured I'd give ACIM a try and Thank God I did.
Have you ever noticed that often we need validation from others for something to be true? "did you see that?; did you hear that?" well this book was a validation to those thoughts that I had over the summer that I was persicuting myself for. There was no need to think I was blaspheming when I said Jesus was Human and that he was placed on a pedistal that he was not wishing to be on. This is correct. My Catholics upbringing brought me to put too much enfasis on the body of Jesus instead of what occured. Jesus' crusifixtion was a forgiveness leasson.
I will write more but I have to attend to my position here on Guana as massage therapist. Hope the wrold is treating you with love and careing dear reader.
God Bless.
